The Mental Battle II
Destroy toxic thoughts before they destroy you!
Last week, I discussed what the Mental Battlefront looks like. Now I want to get into the nitty gritty of how to fight and win this battle.
I challenge you right now to ask yourself what am I thinking? We can’t begin to answer God’s call to “be transformed by the renewal of [our] mind[s]” (Romans 12:2), if we are oblivious to the narrative playing on repeat in our brain.
Don’t know how to begin? Start with writing down a stream of consciousness. Don’t think, just write whatever pops into your head. Usually, this will reveal some pretty interesting nuggets. But if that doesn't work, chase your feelings. What do I mean? Well, ask yourself why am I feeling this way? For example, you have a vague feeling of anxiety, but don’t know why. Simply, ask yourself what is making me anxious? You may discover you have a lot to accomplish on this particular day and don’t know how it will all get done. But don’t stop there, keep asking questions. Ask a follow-up, what if I don’t get it all done? What does my lack of accomplishment say about me? I’m not perfect and maybe I’m a failure. Sounds too tedious a task? It can be, at first. But with practice and time, you will come to understand what your default thinking sounds like. The point is to bring your “stinking thinking” into the forefront of your mind, out of the unconsciousness and into the light of awareness where you can attack it and bring it into submission.
Dr. Caroline Leaf, a cognitive neuroscientist, author and speaker, and a woman of God, has focused her life’s work on helping people “clean up their mental mess”. Her research shows that toxic thoughts actually create structures in the brain that are sickly and deformed. The good news is you can replace each toxic thought with a healthy thought, which destroys the unhealthy neurons and heals the brain. What does this mean? Our toxic thoughts unchecked may be damaging our brains. Like food is to the body, thoughts are to the mind; you are what you think!
Since early childhood, the seeds of toxic thinking were sewn intentionally or unintentionally by hurtful words spoken to me. Words like, “You are not smart enough, or strong enough, or pretty enough, or white enough, or talented enough, etc.” The toxic thought I am not enough was born, and kept me living in the extremes of either fear of stepping up to new challenges or striving to prove my worth to the world. The result was a deep-seated sense of imposter syndrome. And although I had done a lot of inner healing through counseling, therapy, and spiritual direction, I still carried a remnant of this thinking into my special motherhood. Remember, I was exhausted trying to rehabilitate my son and not seeing the results I was hoping for. So, the toxic thoughts I’m not selfless enough, not kind enough, not smart enough, not strong enoughbesieged my mind. I was left battered and almost believing I could never measure up.
Thankfully, God interjected His thoughts, the Truth, into my heart and mind. With the help of Dr. Leaf’s app 21 Day-Detox (updated version now called neurocycle), I could name and visualize this destructive narrative and replace it with what I had already known to be true but needed reminding. Scripture became my weapon of choice, killing the lies with the healing balm of Truth. Here are some “God thoughts” I would meditate on and think on purpose to counteract the lie I am not enough:
I am chosen—“You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit …” (John 15:16).
I am strong in my weakness— “… ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor 12: 9-10).
I can do this—“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil 4: 13).
Not only am I enough, I am wonderful!—"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are your works. My very self you know” (Psalm 139: 14).
Take a moment to rest and sit into the powerful words above. Imagine they are speaking about YOU. Picture who is speaking these words to you, knowing you, accepting you and loving you completely. The above is just a taste of the truth that is proclaimed in sacred scriptures. What I love about the bible is that it does not blow smoke up my ass like some flimsy new age affirmation. But it explains the totality of my humanity in the story of salvation. I am a sinner, imperfect and selfish. But through the sacrifice of Christ on the cross, I am also a child of God; beloved, redeemed and chosen. Knowing these truths, I can think soberly about my worth and ability. I understand I am limited as a human, but I am never alone, and together with God, I possess the power to overcome any challenge life throws at me.
Don’t believe in the bible? I urge you to read it anyhow. Read it piecemeal if you must. Objectively, scripture contains powerfully encouraging words that can change your thoughts and your life. If you feel moved by what you read and want to gain a deeper understanding of the bible, try listening to The Bible in a Year podcast. You may discover a hope you never knew before.
None of what I have said is new or groundbreaking, but it is worth repeating over and over again, until you decide to take it seriously. Your life with all the extra challenges of caring for your child with special needs will not become joyful with toxic thoughts rotting your brain. You will have to take action. What other choice do you have? Your thought life will only change if you face each thought, stare it down and thrust it with truth daggers. Allow your mind to passively ruminate over lies on your ability and identity? Or worse, believe those lies that say you are not enough?
Need one-on-one help to change those stubborn thoughts? Please contact me for a free coaching session. Disabling toxic strongholds and mindsets is my passion!
Next week, let’s talk about feelings and how to challenge them on the Emotional Battlefront. Until then, please share and subscribe and choose to live in the joy of TRUTH! God bless you!