“Must be perfect!”

Struggling with Perfectionism? Read more . . .

Day 2
Hi, my name is Monica and I am a recovering perfectionist! We all know it’s impossible to get life just right %100 of the time, but many of us strive for it anyway. What’s worse—we all pretend we are getting it right even when we aren’t! Social media is a prime example. Instead of simply sharing our lives, we attempt to present a perfect picture of happiness. Why? Perhaps, if we allowed others to see the real us, we become vulnerable to not being liked or accepted. And who likes being rejected?! If unchecked, we can even devolve into these perfection junkies, who believe nothing/no one is ever good enough, and who must point out every tiny detail that is wrong with people, places and things.
This perfectionist trap is especially tough for parents of special needs children. Our kids fall short of “perfect” development all the time! Meanwhile, pictures of cute kids perfectly meeting their milestones pack the pages of FB and Instagram. Personally, I dropped out of social media for a couple years because I couldn’t take the self-imposed pressure to meet some silly set of “standards”.
But what if we replaced the attitude of perfectionism with viewing ourselves AND others as a “works in progress”? Maybe then we could be satisfied with our efforts being “good enough for now”? The cost of not doing so is much too high! If we must be perfect all the time, then we can exhaust ourselves planning the perfect plan, instead of just trying and doing. Then creativity is stifled. Exploration ceases. Worst of all ... Joy is gone.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t strive to be our best self or that we should settle for a sloppy “less than” life! What kind of a life coach suggests that? But, how about we admit we are NOT perfect and NEVER will be? What would your life be like if your best effort was good enough?! What could you begin to accomplish if you allowed yourself the permission to fail and try again and again without having to be perfect each time? Sounds like freedom to me!
When do you find yourself falling into the trap of perfectionism? How can you allow your works to be “good enough for now”?